‘How can a ch
ildren’s book sound sad?’ someone once asked me when I recommended that they read ‘The Velveteen Rabbit’ with their children. Most children’s books are cheerful, fun and exciting. They take you on adventures, they create magical worlds. The main characters are usually children (or toys or fantasy creatures) who are clever, energetic and courageous. Things happen very fast: getting lost or kidnapped, running away, fighting demons or going to boarding school. And before you know it villains are vanquished and order returns – usually with a celebratory feast or holiday!
Why did Margery Williams write a book in which not very much happens and when it does, it’s just ordinary events that occur in everyday life? Perhaps it’s because she knows that children are wiser than we realise. They know that every day can’t be about fantasy and adventure. They know that life is sometimes sad or boring. New toys get old, festivals and birthdays come to an end, people we love go away. And it’s okay to be sad at these times. If we were expected to be happy and excited all the time, that wouldn’t work would it?
The Velveteen Rabbit is a bittersweet book about a shy little toy rabbit who arrives as a Christmas present, all new and shiny, and is very much loved by the little boy who owns him. Gradually, he grows old and worn because he’s been hugged so often, taken into the garden where he gets dirty and left to fade in the sun. But the older he grows, the more he is loved and the closer he comes to being REAL.
“Real isn’t how you are made,’ said the Skin Horse. ‘It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real…. it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”
The story is a challenging one for adults to read aloud to children. But it’s important to introduce children gently to such books. It’s the kind of story you refer back to when a child’s favourite toy breaks, when a best friend moves to another town or when a beloved pet dies. It’s about endings and new beginnings, about letting things go and accepting change – difficult experiences for both adults and children.
Margery Williams who left her home in England as a young child after her father died, and went to live in America, is known for writing toy stories with somewhat melancholic themes but an underlying message of hope.
Amongst her other books, The Little Wooden Doll and The Skin Horse are lovely. The earliest editions of both these books have been beautifully illustrated by the author’s daughter, Pamela Bianco, an accomplished artist who held her first exhibition at the age of eleven. And like The Velveteen Rabbit, they’re great for teaching children (and adults) about empathy and kindness.
What’s your favourite bittersweet story?
What a wonderful read! The idea of it’s ok to be sad and the need to normalise this for children and adults alike!
Also what a great book to write about.